Official Notice all Ministries & Departments of the Monday Night Crew:

The Ministry of Art & Design have tired of Australia. We will negotiate our new MNC contract in Nippon from this point forward. Tokyo, you great-mouthed vixen, prepare yourself!

- MAD

Greetings from Beau’s Eight-Sided Cage of Pain

What other word can describe a man unable, or unwilling to heed the warnings of friends, to ignore the obvious, I am flawed there can be no excuse. Yesterday I purchased BEOWULF for the PS3. Why you ask? I have no answer and once my friends hear of this failure I am certain to be ridiculed mercilessly for all time. You see, in the past I have made game purchasing decisions that could call into question my very sanity. For instance, all three Legends of Wrestling titles. I am not certain why I am drawn to these titles that I am fully aware are going to be . . . well, a steaming pile of p00p!

Perhaps I just want to believe that all game studios want me to be happy. Yeah, that’s it. Those bastards prey on my weaknesses. Promise me the world and deliver me E-coli in a box! They know that I cannot look past the hype to see the reality of what will inevitably cost me $60.00 that I can trade back in for $20.00 - and no, the extra 10% does not help! They must have extensive files much like a Terminator unit. I’m saying that Ah-nold has access to my thoughts here. That is it! And all this time I thought it was because I was weak-willed and pathetic. What a relief it is to know that James Cameron’s abomination has sold my thoughts to the highest bidder.

A weight has been lifted from my shoulders! I am free from the sin of poor game purchases! I have successfully figured out the plot that is in place to destroy me financially. This soul is clean and thanks to a liberal return policy at my local game store I will be able to take back Beowulf within seven days for a one-time trade in. I will never make this mistake again. Hmm . . . I wonder if Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer is any good?

- Beau

The Ministry of Art and Design (MAD for short) continues to hold out in an attempt to strong arm the rest of the Ministries into giving in to his demands. Pfff. We laugh at his feeble attempts at negotiation. We set had amazing traffic results from the comic posted last week by the Ministry of Code. This week we expect similar results from the Ministry of Finance, headed up by the always entertaining DZ. His comic will definitely stir up some discontent in the Artist’s guild, and with any luck we will have our art staff back in no time.

So, I have now officially completed all 40 Contra 4 challenges. I haven’t had that much fun, or stress, in a long time. I fully expect everyone to go out there and purchase Contra 4 if you haven’t yet. It is definitely one of the top three action games of the year on any platform. Yeah, I said it.

Fire Emblem is continuing smoothly and I’m starting to get back some of my favorite characters from the Gamecube version. Mia, Nephenee, and Ike are all back and whooping some serious ass. The difficulty has also tapered off a bit in parts two and three. It’s probably due to the amount of pre-promoted characters you start with in those chapters, but it’s a nice break from the insanity that was part one.

It’s official: Rock Band is this year’s Wii. Great multiplayer, family-friendly and will keep you up for hours playing. The crew has jammed out for two straight weeks and we all love it. Our new goal is to get Beau to sing just one song. That big coward is afraid to step up to the mic - I mean come on, just lay down some vocals on Enter Sandman. It don’t get no manlier than that. Now, where are my AC/DC downloadable songs? I must have Hells Bells, Thunderstruck, Back in Black, Dirty Deeds, Shoot to Thrill, Highway to Hell, Shook Me All Night Long, and my personal favorite, TNT.

Finally, I’m still digging the Call of Duty 4 and would love to play with some people out there, skilled or noobs. My gamertag is MNC Dover. Skill level doesn’t matter to me; I just want to play.

The highlight of the last time I played was on the Bog map. I was a sniper and only ended up with four kills and one death. Why the big deal? Man, I was totally directing traffic. I was giving mad intel and direction to the rest of my teammates. They were having a field day on the opposing team. Every time they would find cover, my snipe shots would make them scramble for new cover only to get plugged by my teammates. No kills for me, means keeping my position hidden from the replay camera. We ended up winning like 750-420. Peace, I’m out.

- Dover