It’s a new beginning for our resident turtle, Philbert. Philbert hasn’t been featured thus far in the comics, and rather than just plug him into any ol’ comic, I thought he should have his own beginning as well. Not only is he snagging a new job, but it’s something he’s always wanted to do. Bonus! Will it be all it’s cracked up to be or an abysmal failure?
Philbert has always been compared to a particular quartet of ninjas, but I assure you that this is merely a coincidence. Philbert has never jumped around rooftops, crawled through sewers, or fought villains named after common kitchen utensils. That said, he has been known to enjoy a slice of pizza every once in a while.
To me, Philbert’s goatee was the most easily recognizable trait amongst the members of the MNC. It always reminded me of some ancient Egyptian pharaoh. Anyway you look at it, it’s definitely his trademark feature. Well, that and his cry of "Let’s put some STANK on it!"
- Dover
Let me break this down for ya:
Price of the preorder for the PS2 game Arcana Heart - $5.00
Remaining difference for said game - $24.99 plus tax
Playing said game on my son’s PS2 - $2.00 (I owe him some loot)
The chance to play an original 2D fighter on PS2 that has an all-female roster of anime archetypes - STANK!!!
- Philbert
Greetings from Beau’s Eight-Sided Cage of Pain . . .
Uncle Sam has had me in the coal mines of West Virginia doing hard labor in order to pay TAXES!
He is a merciless bastard, intent on squeezing every last dime out of me before April 15th. If you have missed me, and I am SURE that you have then blame the tax man! So what should we talk about this week?
I am thinking that we discuss the obvious flaw in bicycle design. Let me start by stating that I am not a bike rider. I prefer to be hoisted high on a throne and paraded through town so as my loyal subjects can express their adoration for me. If such accomodations are unavailable, then I much prefer a motorized vehicle. Manually peddling is overrated. However, that is neither here nor there. The fact is that the basic design of a bicycle is flawed and gender stupid.
Here is the obvious issue for me. Why is it that a girls’ bike boasts a slanted bar beneath the seat and a boys’ bike has a straight bar beneath the seat? I would think the opposite would be the case based on, y’know, the biological differences between certain areas south of the belt line. I am also thinking that perhaps Huffy, Schwin, and the various bike manufactures are all female-owned companies.
Women know men are the clumsier gender. Women know that the way to drop a man to his knees is to introduce a solid object to the twins at a high velocity. The bicycle bar is meant for the boys . . . c’mon, you know what I’m saying.
Perhaps I am making assumptions, but isn’t it quite the conspiracy theory? A group of women, sitting around in 1885 how to fight back against their oppressive husbands.
A bicycle - simple, subtle, DEADLY!
- Beau
Okay. Seriously, this time. I will upload my write-up on Octomania to kick off my new IP discussion pieces by Friday. I also need a game to cover for the write-up next week. Remember, I need titles that are neither sequels nor based off an existing franchise. No Metroid, no Transformers, no Frogger, etc. This week’s options appear to be:
- MiniCopter: Adventure Flight (Wii)
- Summer Sports: Paradise Island (Wii)
- Overclocked: A History of Violence (PC)
- Baroque (Wii, PS2)
- Arcana Heart (PS2)
- Irving