Let me start by saying that I still cannot believe that my favorite comedian of all time is no longer with us. I’m generally sad that the world will no longer hear the grumblings of a very honest, angry, intelligent, bitter, foul-mouthed, and charming old man. Did I mention funny? Oh yeah, this man can still make me laugh even though I’m watching old material already seen a dozen times. If you’re not familiar with Carlin’s work, I would recommend searching it out. Harness the limitless power of the Internet to dig up insight on religion, white people, abortion, drugs, the Ten Commandments, or the seven words you can’t say on television. I would think that it goes without saying that the prior links are NSFW.

It was sometime in the early to middle eighties that I first remember seeing George Carlin on television, and probably one of his many HBO specials. The first thing I remember was being shocked at the immense amount of profanity he could lay down in a single hour. Second, I remember was how Carlin would challenge a larger social issue and actually have thought out and logical reasoning to back up his arguments. Third, I used to love the random sound effects, especially the whistles, the pops, and the fart sounds. Finally, the way he could throw down a list. I can’t really describe his listing ability - you have to hear it to understand.

When I was younger, I tried to do impersonations. These attempts were derived mostly from Carlin and Robin Williams. The two of them could imitate voices and sounds that would reduce me to tears due how funny and accurate they were. The better part of my pre-adulescent life was spent copying and altering their routines. In fact, it was only when I was doing Carlin or Williams impressions that I was allowed to swear in front of my parents and not get in trouble. Weird, no?

To this day, I’m able to pull a fairly decent array of voices and I owe it all to their work. While doing funny voices won’t get you laid it can make a person laugh, and laughter is one of the most powerful feelings a person can experience. Laughter can erase pain and suffering, even if it’s only for a little while. Laughter can subside anger, giving calm thoughts a chance to work. Laughter is good for the heart and soul.

Even with George gone, laughter will go on without him. It’ just that the laughter won’t be quite as loud . . . or contain near as much shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, or tits.

Thanks to everyone who helped contribute to the Seven Words comic this week. A special thanks going out to Vudu, BlackFootsteps, and the rest of the NWR forum members. Hope I haven’t frightened everyone off with the excessive language this week. Hey, I was talking about George - what do you expect?

- Dover

Greetings from Beau’s Eight-Sided Cage of Pain . . .

Much to the dismay of almost the whole MNC Crew (note: thanks for the support, Dexter) I have done the unthinkable and purchased another Xbox 360. Now, before all of you that read my rants about how I would like to shove sharp objects up Bill Gates’ ass start giving me crap, at least hear me out. Nothing has really changed. I am still filled with hate and venom for Mr. Gates and the corporate minions that guard him. I still think that it is completely unacceptable that the system still suffers internal failure when barely a small child sneezes next to it. I would sooner drink turpentine and piss on a brushfire than shake hands with Mr. Gates. Yes, I still hate him and his company THAT DAMNED MUCH!

Before passing judgment on me, keep in mind my reasoning. I just really, really want a 360. That’s right, damn it. I am not the only one that has had failings with this system. Beside, for my desires the games catalog is better than the other systems, and more of the people I care to play online with rock this system.

In my youth I would buy a system, and then trade that system to snatch up a new system - lather, rinse, and repeat. The game stores scored loads of cash off me, and my friends tried to convince me to change my ways and I did . . . eventually. I now buy my systems to keep until the latest hotness comes along. It takes time to affect real change in me. Dover asked me what I would do if this one red ringed on me, and I WANT to say I will purchase a ballistic missile from eBay to aim at a certain Redmond, Washington-based company. However, the fact is that I will piss and moan about the Microsoft atrocities and eventually consider another new system. Sooner or later this green monster has to work, right?

- Beau

In the event that you didn’t understand any of what was written above, I direct you over here, the conclusion of which is chronicled this-a-way. I only point it out because I love.

- Irving