I know that EA and Gamestop don’t want you, the common gamer, to know the evil truth behind the Madden series, but I cannot allow this farce to continue. Behold the truth and may it set you free.

I’m not alone when I wonder why hordes of football fanatics will buy the exact same game, sans roster changes, each and every year. I mean, I’ve been guilty of buying sequels and remakes myself, but at least those games got spaced out over a few years. As Irving has pointed out before, it’s impossible to make a quality new game with a twelve month development period. All they really have time to do is add a feature or two (possibly buggy) and update the rosters.

Madden day was always the second busiest, but most hectic day to work back in the good old retail years. The only day that was worse was Black Friday. It’s staggering to think that it takes thousands of single minded soccer moms to outdo a single American football game. Of course, you expect soccer moms to have no idea what they’re buying. After all, little Jimmy asked for some game called "Grand Auto Theft" or something like that.

On the other hand, Madden fans know exactly what they want and when they want it . . . typically the week before release. Madden may officially release on a Tuesday, but the phone calls begin on the Friday beforehand. That’s probably about the time the commercials begin full swing on television. A little spark ignites in their tiny sheep-like brains and the swarms shuffle to the stores, ready to trade in their old copy of Madden. Once obtaining that fabulous three to five dollars store credit, the happy Madden fan returns to his dwelling and unwraps his fresh new copy of Madden to see how much his team has improved over last year’s version.

The last thing I’ll say about Madden fans is this: I’ve never met a Madden player who has ever lost a game. No kidding. I’ve talked to hundreds of players and they all have that same swagger and egotistical persona. When two Madden players clash in nature, the conversation typically goes something like this (dialogue enhanced to mimic reality):

Sheep one: Man, can’t nobody beat me when I play as my Falcons.

Sheep two: Shit bro, you ain’t never played my Cowboys then.

Sheep one: Don’t have to play your team to know I can rout ’em. It’d be mutha fucking Vick all day on the option.

Sheep two: Vick? Bitch, you ain’t even gonna have him on the roster this year!

Sheep one: True, true. That’s why I create his ass as a character and add him to my roster. I make it fair and shit. I give him a 99 in speed, accuracy, passing, running, awareness, and strength and then a 50 in like kicking and defensive shit.

Sheep two: Well, that sounds about right. He shouldn’t be in jail anyways.

Sheep one: That’s what I’m sayin’.

Sheep two: Hell, bring Vick though, you’ll still lose. Those sorry ass Falcons have like a team rating of like 56 or something. I’d have to give you a two touchdown lead to make it fair.

Sheep one: Shit. You’ve never played my Dirty Birds before.

Sheep two: Naw bra, you’ve never played my Cowboys.

Both of the above people talking are white guys who accompany each boast with a bunch of wild arm gestures and football poses. The above conversation continues like this for about ten minutes. Finally, when I can’t stand it anymore, I would invite both guys to just play each other in the store to settle the argument. Not surprisingly, both players have to "go to work" when the challenge is on the line.

- Dover

I had the good fortune to read Eurogamer’s interview with Will Wright. Game designer interviews are always particularly fascinating to me, grounded as they are in the "science of play" argument. I also remember a time (pre-PlayStation for all you kids) when videogame developers didn’t do interviews, or only did them on rare occassions, because nobody wanted to interview them! In our hyper-connected era of information, such apathy is unfathomable, but the paper print epoch of human culture demanded a sacrifice of words and space! Apparently, regular interviews with the people who create fun found that chopping block with remarkable consistency. I’m on a tangent again.

Right. Wright! In this interview, Will Wright mentioned something that I deemed of particular interest:

When you look at most games consoles and even computers, we have a huge amount of output in terms of the graphics and the data coming out, but we have a tiny little straw of data going in, which is your mouse co-ordinates and the keyboard presses.

The Wii, the way it’s reading the controller, you actually have a lot more bandwidth. It’s still a straw, but it’s a big straw - and for me that’s the really interesting part about the Wii.

In programming, we take for granted certain principles, such as the first portion of I/O - input. Typically, user input is digital on/off kinds of stuff and we build programs and applications that use that input. Keyboards, controllers and even the mouse are all built on a digital single-press core. I can only imagine the relative wealth of information transmitted by a Wii remote. Obviously, other devices backed by computer programming utilize non-standard inputs but the Wii is the only gaming system that really treats motion and the intracacies of physical action seriously. By no means is it perfect, but I do find myself looking very much forward to the next generation of consoles, and seeing what blooms from this.

To add to Dover’s point, Madden day wasn’t too bad. Big release days were never that bad, mostly due to the entire operation switching gears to serve one function: selling a particular game over and over. It’s boring, but we became amazingly adept at it. That said, I never understood the desire to trade in your old, nearly identical game while paying to pick up the newer, slightly-different-but-not-necessarily-better version. I usually pick up new sports titles once every decade, maybe twice. Of course, my fave football team is the Buffalo Bills, so the eatin’ hasn’t been too great lately.

Before I go, the folks over at Blizzard seem awfully defensive of late for a company pulling in a summer’s blockbuster worth of cash every month. One of their game directors stressed the importance of execution, even at the expense of innovation. I know it’s tough, expensive and not usually worth the effort to create a videogame, particularly in a bi-polar market that loves you when you peak, and hates you every other second of existance. I get it. Arguing for the importance of execution in anything, much less a product meant to entertain, is obvious and should be a priority. Putting myself in the position of creating sequels to smash-hit franchises, I don’t doubt that sacrifices would have to be made in order to release a solid product. However, StarCraft II and Diablo III resemble their predecessors an awful lot. All of which I already own, because, y’know, they were released several years ago. I want to be wrong on this, and I will certainly wait for some hands-on time, but I am a little sad to see one of the former greats already in damage control mode months before their games have hit the shelves.

- Irving

Greetings from Beau’s Eight-Sided Cage of Pain . . .

Although I am a BIG fan of Mr. Nintendo (a real person, for certain!), I have recently neglected my Nintendo Wii due to its lack of titles that I am dying to play. That is, until last weekend when a good friend - we will call him Dover - instructed me to go to Best Buy and purchase Blast Works for ten bucks. Normally no one, and I mean NO ONE, instructs me as to anything, but $10.00! Even if the game sucked, it would have to be pretty bad for me to regret a ten-spot.

Let me just say it certainly does not suck, and I would implore you to buy this game at Best Buy or your local game store or anywhere at any price. This is the most fun you will have on your Wii, period. Blast Works is an old school side-scrolling shoot-em-up with a twist: what you destroy in enemy form can be collected and attached to your ship. I cannot describe the joy of collecting semi-sentient debris, still firing bullets in all crazy directions. Before long in each stage, the pile has inevitably stacked to the top of the TV, forming a wall of death that no foe wants to see screaming down its front cannon. The concept of the game is simple, but there is a definite strategy to it if you want to win on the higher difficulty levels. An adeptness for twitch gaming doesn’t hurt, either.

I cannot stop playing this damn game, and I have not even told you the best part yet. There is a web site called blastworksdepot.com where you can download created ships and use in the game. The in-game create-a-ship/bullet/level editor is huge, so even if you don’t buy the game straight away (which will require a letter of explanation addressed to me) go to the depot and check out what people have created. The possibilities are limitless . . . look for a Beau ship in the near future.

We all know I cannot review a game very well at all. I do not write linearly so I bounce all over the place as my excitement pushes me all over the map! However, all I should have to summarize is buy it or don’t buy it. On this one, do not hesitate. Go now and BUY IT!

- Beau